The answer to this simple yet fundamental question signifies our current position along Maslow’s pyramid of needs. While the expected answer underlies the position of the person who poses the question.
“How are you? Who are you?” These are simple questions we are being asked every day, in any social interaction. And our answer is equally simplistic and mechanical, “I am fine/good/working on this project”. We tend to answer (and expect answers) only in the first basic steps of Maslow’s pyramid, which only cover our physiological and safety needs. This leaves little room for considering our higher psychological needs, such as social, esteem, and self-actualisation.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs
But what if we tried to answer the question by taking into account all the steps of the pyramid? This makes us realise and be grateful of all the joys and blessings we have at this point, as well as makes us think and envision what we really want to do in our life at the moment. At the same time, we should consider what answers other people might give, and what is important to them, a crucial lesson of empathy. Choose a different (type of) person each time, or for each pyramid step, to maximise results.
You may ask yourself this question daily or weekly, and even document your answers in a journal across time. This marks your personal progress, and provides a valuable tool for your future self.
So “how are you today”? Let’s try answer for each level of Maslow’s pyramid, with a more liberal interpretation. Our replies will definitely surprise our conversation partners, and probably even ourselves.
step 1 – physiological needs / food, shelter, health
“I am well rested, and just had a great breakfast of full grain cereal and organic fruits.”
food for thought: but how would a person in a war zone would answer?
This is hardly an expected answer, because this level is too often taken for granted. However, we should never forget to appreciate the little things in life.
step 2 – safety needs / security, materialistic world
“I am fine, enjoying the view of the city’s skyline from my comfortable office”.
food for thought: would a business executive focus solely on how much money she makes?
This is the most common expected answer, although we should always elaborate more about our current status. Why we are feeling fine or why not?
step 3 – social needs / relationships, belongingness
“I am feeling happy and complete, surrounded by good friends and loved ones who support me”.
food for thought: how can I be more supportive to the new guy who just started at the office?
Our social needs are crucial for our personal and business well being, but we often fail to acknowledge how important role they played in our current situation.
step 4 – esteem needs / accomplishments, respect, cognition
“I have just returned from a trip to a far away land, which helped me learn valuable lessons”.
food for thought: what values do people in that far away land have? How do they measure success?
We should treasure our accomplishments, be proud of them, and communicate them to the world. Each person of course seeks and values vastly different things, and each should be equally respected.
step 5 – transcendence needs / self-actualisation, giving back to community
“I am helping people through coaching to envision a better future for themselves and the world”.
food for thought: Which types of people may have a radically different vision for the future than me?
How can I contribute more to my community? How can I inspire others? At the end of the day (and the top of the pyramid), we should transcend our self and focus on the whole.
So, how are YOU today?
